


Must Be Built Anew

by the_rck



Category: Old Kingdom - Garth Nix
Genre: Compromise, Discussion of Pregnancy, Discussion of Surrogacy, F/M, Rebuilding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-25 21:06:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16205675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_rck/pseuds/the_rck
Summary: Sabriel and Touchstone constitute finite resources. They must spend each part of themselves wisely.





	Must Be Built Anew

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Quettaser](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quettaser/gifts).



> Title from Prageeta Sharma's “Seattle Sun.”
> 
> Thanks to minnabird for beta reading.
> 
> Written for a Yuletide 2017 prompt. See end notes for elaboration of the 'discussion of surrogacy' tag.

Touchstone survived mending all of the broken Charter Stones, but the process put gray in his hair and was a near enough thing each time to leave Sabriel remembering-- again and again-- that time was a gift that not all couples received.

They’d delayed the project by months in hope that they could find better options for all of their necessities. None of their possible paths forward would be easy. Before they started, before they even decided which Charter Stones should come first and which last, they talked to the Clayr and ransacked the records at Abhorsen House.

Finally, Touchstone announced that they would have to go forward with what they had. “We’re running out of time.”

“Are you sure?” Sabriel placed her hand on Touchstone’s arm. “Even if you’re right, it will weaken you.”

Touchstone leaned into the contact. “Blood made the Charter Stones. Blood broke them.” He stepped back and met Sabriel’s eyes. “I don’t know any other way to do it. I’m sorry.” He sounded sincere in his apology.

Sabriel nodded but couldn’t meet his eyes.

“I will have you to guard me,” Touchstone said. “The Abhorsen herself.”

Along with every Charter Mage they could trust. The power required would draw Free Magic creatures, and some of them were cunning enough and smart enough to realize that repairing those Stones would restrict them as they hadn’t been for a century. Touchstone would be horribly vulnerable as he worked.

The fact that both Touchstone’s and Sabriel’s families had dwindled to a single member meant that the kingdom couldn’t afford to lose either of them, not yet, not for many years to come. Other Charter Mages were a potentially replaceable resource in a way that neither the King nor the Abhorsen were.

Sabriel hated that. Those mages were people who really weren’t replaceable. A parent or child or sibling or friend or even a distant cousin’s nodding acquaintance, each unique, each the keeper of things having nothing at all to do with the Charter. She remembered the still bodies at Wyverley College. Death itself was not a terrible thing, but the gaps left by the departed were devastating.

Sabriel hated, too, that the next King or Queen and the next Abhorsen were going to require more time than remaking every Charter Stone in the kingdom. Time during which Sabriel wouldn’t be able to guard Touchstone’s back. She and Touchstone were gambling by giving the Charter Stones first priority.

Sabriel had searched for magic that would speed a pregnancy along, but everything she’d found suggested that it was a terrible idea. Children were not-- could not be-- constructs.

She supposed that, if using magic for this were feasible, she’d have siblings and aunts and uncles and cousins. There simply wasn’t any way to make the process take less time for the Abhorsen than for any other woman, and Sabriel wasn’t certain how pregnancy would affect her ability to face the Dead simply because she’d never done it before. The records at Abhorsen House indicated that some Abhorsens had been able to keep traveling and banishing the Dead up until the last moment while others had been ill for months during and after.

It mattered less when there was an Abhorsen-in-Waiting and even less when there was a presumptive-- or even vaguely possible-- heir beyond the Abhorsen-in-Waiting. Sabriel’s family had dwindled in the face of prolonged attack.

Touchstone’s had been butchered before they’d realized there was risk.

“So the same as any other woman?” Touchstone said when Sabriel reported her findings. He sounded amused, but his eyes told her that he wasn’t. He was terrified of the same things that frightened her.

She managed a laugh in response, but her heart wasn’t in it. “I am, you know.” She pressed her hand against her bandolier. “Apart from this.”

“Yes,” he said. “Apart from that.”

Neither one of them ever mentioned that Touchstone, from a dynastic point of view, would have been better off with any other consort. The Abhorsen could not stay safe behind walls long enough for a dozen children even when the kingdom was strong, and now… 

Many Charter Stones were broken. Two of the three lineages had been reduced to a single member. The Clayr were strong, but the Clayr only watched and warned. And sometimes, they missed things.

Sabriel and Touchstone had visited the Clayr. Twice. Both times, Sabriel had decided that, if one of the Clayr asked for Touchstone’s company for the night, she would smile and accept on his behalf. Both times, Touchstone had met her eyes and had shaken his head. 

“I married you,” he said when they were alone after the second visit. He lifted her hand to his lips.

“I know, and you choosing me is my joy.” Her smile was genuine. “I don’t doubt that part.” She shook her head. “It is simply-- Death can come for any of us. The Clayr would guard your bloodline in case--” The Abhorsen put Sabriel aside to meet the King’s eyes and ask him to put Touchstone aside. “I do not think the kingdom and the Charter would survive losing both our lines.”

She touched his face with her free hand and smiled again, all Sabriel once more. “It costs us nothing-- no lives, no money, no promises. I’ll love you not an iota less. When you lose me-- or I you-- it will not be for this.”

The third time they needed to consult the Clayr, Sabriel sent Touchstone alone. She didn’t ask him, after, whether he’d found one of the Clayr willing to bear him a child. Part of her wanted to know one way or the other, but she thought that her asking might make him question whether she regretted the permission.

She didn’t. She wouldn’t.

Sabriel was the Abhorsen. Touchstone was the King. The realm they both protected would stand or fall by their choices.

**Author's Note:**

> It’s implied that Touchstone might have had a one night stand for reproductive purposes with Sabriel’s advance consent and encouragement and with the potential mother, an unnamed Clayr, also understanding the situation. I don't consider it infidelity, but other people's lines are in different places so that this may be a deal breaking DNW for some readers.
> 
> Sabriel doesn't have fertility issues here; she has time issues. She might be able to keep doing her work-- the work only she can do-- right up through starting labor and then pick it up again shortly after. She also might not. There's no way to know in advance how much time she'll need or what limitations she'll have, and the Dead and other beasties somehow don't make advance appointments.


End file.
